I want to share an information that I get from this one book ‘ The Hook Up Handbook : A Single Girl’s Guide to Living It Up’ written by Andrea Lavinthal & Jessica Rozler…
This book includes essential tips such as how to recognize the players (Mr December, the older man; Oops I Did it Again, the ex-boyfriend); dealing with the next morning (The Walk of Shame Rears its Uncombed Head); hook up lingo (Beer Google – drunkenly typing his name into the internet) and sage advice: WHEN SOME STUPID BOY LEAVES YOU, REMEMBER THAT ONE DAY HE’LL BE SPORTING A COMB – OVER & NOSE HAIR.
Not all the tips I can able to be applied in my real life as a muslim (well this book is written by Europe people….western style…and it about HOOK UP…what do you aspect…hehe…) but some are useful to…from all the contents I want to highlight at this one subtopic...
PART 2 TYPECASTING à The Players in the Game
So the players in the game called: THE CHEATER ( the guy with a girlfriend )
The Scenario : when you 1st meet him, he seems too good to be true---laid-back, super confident, and genuinely interested in what you have to say. And after hooking up with him a few times, you start to think the unthinkable---he’d make the perfect boyfriend. Unfortunately, he neglects to mention that he is the perfect boyfriend---someone else’s.
When he does get around to letting you know that he’s “kind of seeing someone,” you flip out and demand to know why he didn’t tell you right off the bat. His response: “well, it’s not like you asked or anything.” But what’s worse than his lack of guilt is your lack of guilt. You know that it completely violates girl code to hook up with someone else’s boyfriend, but through his web of lies, half-truths, and fabrications, you manage to rationalize your appalling behavior by believing him when he says that he and “girl X” have advanced to the final stages of relationship decay: the “we’ve agreed to see other people” phase. [ me: 100% agreed with this scenario definition because I’d experience this…so I’m the victim??...damn!!! ]
IDENTIFYING FEATURES OF THE CHEATER HOOK UP
1. Denial isn’t a river in Egypt: in the case of the cheater hook up, it’s your new frame of mind while you know very well that there’s definitely someone else in his life, you make a very conscious decision to pretend that she doesn’t exist. You don’t think about it; you just cup your hands over your ears and shout, “la, la, la!” whenever you hear her name.
2. Karma kickback: it’s not your fault if you hook up with a guy who went to painstaking lengths to hide the fact that he has a girlfriend (what are you supposed to do---submit everyone you meet to a polygraph test?). but if you keep coming back for more even after he’s come clean about his romantic status, watch out. Pardon the used of s cliché’, but what goes around really does come around.
3. Jury of your peers: at 1st your friends try to break it to you gently. “umm,I’m pretty sure you’re not the only person he’s hooking up with.” But when you completely ignore their warnings and go back for 2nd ---and 3rd –with him, they decide to put little more bluntly: “please stop being a ho-bag before someone gets hurt.”
4. The not-so-ex-girlfriend: he insists she’s finally out of the picture, but it’s more like she’s out of town. When his girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend, or whatever he calls her) finds out that you’re making nice with him while she not around, you’d better get ready for some Springer-esque hysterics. Remember: even though it takes 2 to tango, at the end of the day he’s her beloved boyfriend and you’re just the trash who be messin’ with her man.
THE BULLSHIT DECODER [ me: I like this part… ]
What he says: I don’t have time for a relationship right now
What he means: I have a girlfriend & I’m hooking up with someone else. I don’t know how long I can keep this up before I get caught.
What he says: well I was dating someone, but we’ve decided that we should start seeing other people.
What he means: I’ve decided that I need to see some other boobies.
What he says: we were doing the long-distance thing, but it wasn’t working out
What he means: my girlfriend went to visit her parents for the weekend.
What he says: she means nothing to me [me: ‘hati kering’?? Does this ring a bell??]
What he means: neither do you [me: duh…I knew it from the start…I got serve..huhu]
What he says: but she would be crushed if I broke up with her right now
What he means: why would I ever end it with someone who puts up with all of my bullshit?
What he says: I want to spend time with you, but things are so crazy right now.
What he means: isn’t it crazy that polygamy isn’t more universally accepted?
How It Ends: the cheater hook up could end in one of two ways
1. He decides he loves the girlfriend he has been cheating on and somehow manages to blame you for almost breaking them up [ me: I like this ...action feedback…copying from Facebook ]
2. She wages a war against you that makes the conflict [ me: ‘silent war’…stop following my blog and block me from her Facebook…don’t think that I don’t know]
[ me: unfortunately, I taste both of them…I’m so ‘lucky’]
and here are the other typecasting: players in the game
The are-you-my-boyfriend?: the non-relationship relationship
The metroman: the tragically hip urban metrosexual
Drink till he’s cute: the fall-down-drunk hook up
Mr.december: the older man
Pass the sippy cup: the younger guy
The best bud tryst: when platonic turns erotic
Oops, I did it again: the ex-boyfriend
Putting in overtime: coworker canoodling
Girls gone wild: the spring break fling
The joey buttafuoco: the guy who drives you crazy
The himbo: the boy toy hook up
I thought we had something special: the boy who wants more
The snuffleupagus: the hook up you deny but everyone else knows really exists
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